Grave Site Flowers?

After dropping my kids off at golf camp this past week, I decided to take advantage of my quiet time and go for a quick walk. The city park is just a few minute walk from the golf course so I decided to go that route. Which, I forgot winds right around the cemetery.

Of course, I teared up as I walked by because it made me think of my brother, who I miss every day. However, it made me think about the flowers and other objects people put on graves. I’ve never been one to take part in this ritual, even after my grandpa, uncle, and cousin’s son died. I’ve never felt a connection to a grave site.

In the past, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me that I didn’t feel a need to do this. Or maybe I didn’t feel enough of a connection with those family members I’ve lost in the past to feel the need to do this. I’m still not feeling it even though I’ve lost one of the closest people to me.

I still do not get the action of putting flowers and other objects on a gravestone. If it makes people feel better or feel they have a connection, then so be it. I just don’t want to be judged because I don’t feel it.

I just don’t feel that connection to this place. The place where he is in my heart and my thoughts. Every single day, I still think of my brother in some way. It doesn’t make me a cold person to not feel a connection with his final “resting” spot, right?

WWBD? (What Would Billie Do?) Well, Billie used to drive by Grandpa Bill’s grave site and honk and wave.

 

So What, I Cry Everday.

At some point everyday, I cry.

Don’t ask me what’s wrong. Just assume it is from the loss of my brother.

Because when you ask me what’s wrong that makes me cry even more.

How a Cupcake Can Reduce You to Tears

Sofia helped my Aunt Beth bake and decorate cupcakes recently.

Sofia told her she wished she could share her cupcakes with Uncle Billie.

That is how cupcakes can reduce a person to tears.

I wish your sweet Sofia could share her cupcakes with you too Sugar Pants (Sofia’s affectionate nickname for Uncle Billie.)

Brave Face

I put on a brave face each day. There are times of laughter and joy but only to hide the sadness I feel each and every day.

Every single day,  I think about you.

Every single day,  I wish that you were not gone.

Every single day, I wish I had 5 more minutes.

Every single day, I think of my parents and how much sadness they feel. I see it in their eyes every time I see them.

Almost every day, Eli tells me he “wishes that Uncle Billie didn’t die because I loved him.”

Every single day,  I put my brave face on after I sob in the shower.

Every day, I hope that my brother knew how much I loved him!

 

Eli Wishes…

Almost every day, Eli (6) tells me he “wishes that Uncle Billie didn’t die because I loved him.” He also said he feels sorry for my even younger brother (11) who doesn’t have anyone to play with at home now.

I try to encourage him to talk about Billie whenever this occurs since kids have such a hard time processing death. Who am I kidding, adults have a hard time processing death too.

It did bring up a funny story Eli told me about Billie playing air soft guns with them. I’m not sure if he was really playing them or just got caught in the cross-hairs. Apparently, my little brother shot him in the back with the air soft gun, which made me giggle a bit because I’m sure Billie just laughed about it!

Magical Laundry at Disney World

After several days and a nap time accident by one of the kids, it was time to do laundry. After spending a day around the pool and at Disney Downtown, I decided I would do laundry after the kids were settled in for the night.

Around 11 p.m. I trek two buildings over in the Caribbean Beach Hotel to the laundry room. Of course, I had only dollars and was counting on the change machine.

The light on the change machine said it was out of order and I was so disappointed. Thinking I was going to have to trek it back to the main building, I called the front desk from the phone in the laundry room.

To my HUGE surprise, the attendant said they would send someone to the laundry room with change. I was in complete shock.

Surely enough, just a short time later, a man came with quarters and quickly exchanged it for my dollars.  Even the laundry is magical at Disney…if only, the laundry fairy would come to my house!

He was, however, surprised someone was doing laundry that late! HA! I’m a mom, we’ve been busy all day, when else do people do it?

Apparently at some other time of the day because the laundry room was silent except for me the entire hour I was there.

Disclosure: I paid to attend the Disney Social Media Conference. In return, I received highly discounted park tickets, hotel, and a gift bag. There was no monetary compensation or posts required in exchange for this package.

Photo Credit: Asfarley

The Flight to Orlando

After the big announcement on the day of the trip, we headed to the airport. Eli tells me he is afraid to fly and doesn’t want to go. I assure him it is very safe to fly and he flew once when he was around two years old. He knew we were planning on flying to Arizona in a few weeks but this was the first I’ve heard of his fears. He goes on and on about crashing, I’m sure loud enough for other passengers to hear.

Hey, I won’t lie, I get a little nervous flying too. My rational brain tells me statistically it is much safer to fly but there is something about being thousand of feet in the air with no control that makes me say my prayers before take off! It seems like the more I fly, the less nervous I get so that is a good sign.

As we were boarding, I mentioned that the little guy was a little scared to fly. What happened next was really cool and one of the many reasons I love to fly Southwest Airlines. The flight attendant asked if they wanted to see the Pilots and allowed them to visit with them for a minute where they were given wings. This seemed to ease Eli’s nervousness about getting in the air a little!

Sofia on the other hand only cared about the snacks. Asking me numerous times when the snacks would be there. I think she was disappointed we didn’t get cookies.

The kids did fabulous on the plane! Even sitting next to each other and NOT fighting. Unfortunately, things wouldn’t stay this good the entire trip. The good news is on the flight home, Eli announced he had “overcome his fear of flying.”

Stay tuned for more post as it was an adventure filled week – one that took me someplace I never thought I’d go nor can you pay to go, magical meltdowns, vegetarian meals, and of course, the actual conference.

Disclosure: I paid to attend the Disney Social Media Conference. In return, I received highly discounted park tickets, hotel, and a gift bag. There was no monetary compensation or posts required in exchange for this package.

The Disney Surprise

For the past few months, I’ve been hiding something from my kids. What’s that? WE ARE GOING TO DISNEY! With everything that has been going on, it was a welcome distraction for me.

I got into the Disney Social Media Moms Blog Conference for 2011 and decided to take my two youngest kids. They did not know until I picked them up to go to the airport.

I didn’t get the same reaction as some of the parents get in their Disney World surprise videos. In fact, my son flat out refused to believe me until I finally called my husband and he confirmed!

Stay tuned for more post as it was an adventure filled week – one that took me someplace I never thought I’d go nor can you pay to go, magical meltdowns, vegetarian meals, plane flights, magical laundry, and of course, the actual conference.

Disclosure: I paid to attend the Disney Social Media Conference. In return, I received highly discounted park tickets, hotel, and a gift bag. There was no monetary compensation or posts required in exchange for this package.

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