Why I Feel Lucky

Guardian Angel Cartoon

My family  has been incredibly lucky over the past year. I know it is hard to believe that I would say something like that after losing my brother, my grandpa, my uncle, the unexpected death of my grandma’s sister, and the four year old son of a cousin in the past six years. Honestly, it seems like it has been much longer than six years when all of this tragedy started…

I can still hear the swish of my uncle’s wind pants coming down the hallway at work, my brother’s boisterous and infection laugh, and the my grandpa barreling down the hallways at work not caring if we are in an important meeting or on a phone call.  At the time, these little interruptions would sometimes irritate me as it meant a break in my work but now I miss these interruptions tremendously.

My first brush with death was when I was pregnant with my daughter when I was 18 years old. My grandpa who had suffered through years of heart conditions, lung issues, eventually died of cancer of the lungs that was detected when they did his autopsy. He was too young, just 61 years old. He was sick for so long but he held on as long as he could. My daughter was born just a day before he would have turned 62 about 10 days after he passed.

So why do I feel lucky? 

I have so many guardian angels watching over my family, which has been apparent in the past year as we have narrowly escaped numerous additional tragedies. I like to think that one of all of my passed on loved ones are watching over our family.

Recently a drunk driver plowed into the building my son was in. They normally are in the exact spot in the back of the building doing workouts where the drunk driver completely immersed his entire car into the building. The exact spot. There was eleven teenage boys in that building that day that would have been there had not one of the kids had a jammed finger. Instead, the instructor decided to adjust their workout so he could participate, which meant no weights at that time.

My oldest daughter, just having her license for a few months, was involved in an accident where she was hit on her driver’s side. She walked away with no visible injuries.

Another child was a witness to a crime last summer, which for legal reasons, I can’t divulge at this time. Let’s just say, thank God, she was just a witness and not the actual victim of the crime. Sometimes made her run away before she could be victimized.

When I think about how many times that we could have lost my brother before his untimely death, I believe we are incredibly lucky he survived as long as he did. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck at birth.  When he was about four, he almost drown in my grandparent’s pool, riding his trike into the pool and being submerged during a family gathering. He rolled and totaled a van the very first day he received his driver’s license, escaping complete injury for him and his unbuckled passenger. Then there was the time that he was trying to outrun the police and instead of shooting him dead, an older officer had a feeling that something possibly wasn’t mentally right with him and urged the trigger happy younger officers to use non-lethal force. He escaped death that day by just being tased and pepper sprayed. On a side note, he always told us being tasered was much more preferable to the pepper spray.

When you think about all he went through and those are the just the incidents that I actually know about, there are possibly others, I feel incredibly lucky that he made it to 28 years old.

Maybe, just maybe, one of my passed on loved ones is watching over my children, which is not just luck, it is being cared for and watched over…I like to think that though…and if so, my family is definitely giving them a full workout.

#100HappyDays Challenge: Day 5 Outdoor Movie Night

Outdoor Movie Night Summer Fun on Garage 100DaysofHappy

Last night was SUCH a fun night. #BestNightEver Well, not sure about that but it was a great night to make fun family memories. We hooked up the projector to the laptop and attached to some speakers to watch Jumanji outside on the garage. It was late and a little cool but it was a memorable night that we will not forget.

Part of the fun was before the movie even started with the dancing in front of the projector!

movie night

Can I be Happy for 100 Days in a Row? I’m up for the challenge as a reminder to enjoy every moment of every day! 

Random Things That Make Me Think Of You…

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The death of my brother affects me every single day of my life especially when I’m alone with my thoughts. “They” say it gets better but it doesn’t get better you just don’t dwell on it every single second of the day like you did in the beginning. At some point, you are able to push it towards the back of your mind but the pain is still there waiting to be exposed at slightest thought of you.

For example how the mind wanders. We moved and I thought of all the people who would stop in now that we are closer to town. This made me think of the days when my brother used to stop in every night after work at our first house in town. This made me sad to think that he didn’t do that when we moved to the country. Then I thought, maybe if we had lived in town and he had us to come visit he wouldn’t have resorted to drugs. Then I feel guilty and sad. Then I cry as I try to push something else into my brain so the tears will stop.

Someone talks about their adult brother. I automatically think of the brother I don’t have.

I watch the television show “King of Queens.” I think of the times my brother would stop over after work and we would watch it together and laugh. The big guy “Doug” is kind of goofy like my brother was which is why I think he liked the show so much. He would talk about the funny parts in this show all of the time.

Someone says the word brother and I think of you.

I drive by your grave and I think of you.

I see your obituary hanging on my refrigerator and I think of you.

I eat Doritos and I think of how we used to fight and fight and fight over the bag when we were little.

I open a can of beans and I remember how much you hated beans.

I open a can of tomato paste and I think of the time you cut your finger on a can in a kitchen growing up.

I see a daschund dog and I think of how much you loved our dog Chelsea.

I think of you more than you will ever know. I hate myself for thinking of you more now than I did before you died. I should have been a better sister. I should have not took for granted the time we had together thinking that there would always be more time….


Disney World Trip 2010: Lost Kids, Trapped on Rides, and Just Complete Fun!


Of all people, my dad was the one who got us this deal to go to Disney World. My kids have NEVER been and I had been feeling guilty because my oldest child was almost 11 and never had experienced the magic of Disney.  My parents took me to Disney World when I was 10 and I visited Disney Land twice as a teenager.

We stayed off campus at a nice resort. It would be nice to go back and actually stay at a Disney resort for convenience.

We spent day one at the Animal Kingdom, which was cool but very packed. The highlight of the day was seeing Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth. She actually touched our stroller as they were going into the back entrance of a ride while we were shopping in a gift shop. They look exactly like they do on tv! 🙂

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It's Not About the Things

As a child, my grandma came to every sporting event, every rehearsal, every little event we invited her to. To this day, she still does this for her grandchildren and her great-grand children. Sometimes there is scheduling conflicts between events amongst the kids but she is somewhere at one of the events you can count on it!

These are the things you remember. I don’t remember what she bought me for my 10th birthday but I do remember she supported me when I played soccer, softball, or had a school program. She is always there supporting us in full force.

It’s not about the things. It’s about the people you care about and the people who care about you.

Facebook Statuses from Dad when Mom is Away

Picture 11

Picture 14

Picture 12

Apparently, my family enjoyed his Facebook Statuses while I was at the Blissdom Conference at the beginning of February. It snowed quite a bit while I was gone. I didn’t miss that but I did miss them.

I look like an Alien

Sofia is just getting into drawing people. Here’s how she depicts our family.

Sofia Art Work

No arms. Just heads and legs. Apparently, my head looks like an Alien head. Plus, she giggled and gave me a nose on my forehead.

Daddy has special hair.

There is a few extra people in there. Apparently, she wants a baby in the house.

Uh, sorry, that isn’t happening.

We had some good laughs over this family portrait.

Wordless Wednesday 8/19


So, did anyone catch me sneaking into this picture the expression almost seems to say. Maybe they won’t notice….

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