5 Minutes

Why does God allow some people to suffer for months, years, or decades and take others so quickly? I’m really struggling with this as I wish I just had five minutes to say goodbye. Just five minutes would have been enough to say the things I need to say.

What would I say in those five minutes? What I struggled to say those final moments when I wasn’t even sure if you would hear…the words I could barely get out over my tears…I love you brother…

You were special to me. When you were born, I was disappointed because you weren’t a sister. I was still fascinated by you. Dad was so proud to have a boy.

You would later claim I would pull on your eyelashes while I was holding you. Really, I was just curious and amazed at the little package.

You always kept us entertained. You kept us laughing. You were kind and caring. Your nieces and nephews loved you. You remembered everything. (I want to hold onto every single precious memory but I don’t have nearly as good of a memory as you.)

You were so worried about having to deal with grandpa’s death that you didn’t even consider your own.

Yes, you annoyed me. That’s what little brothers do. But I love thinking about every minute of it and wish I could have that back.

Tonight, mom sent me a text and wondered if I had the “infamous” International Harvester video. I was so happy I found it in an old photobucket account.


  1. I’m so so sorry Briana! I just found your personal blog…..oh, I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I lost my mom unexpectedly 5 yrs ago……it’s so hard, those final minutes. I don’t really remember much of what I said, but I so hope and pray that she could hear me.


    • Thanks so much Debra! So sorry about your mom. I can’t imagine. 🙁

      I’m still struggling…I try to put on a happy face and not think about him…because if I do I just get too sad!

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