Most days I’m able to “fake” it through the day.
I stil have those days where I just want to curl up in a ball an die.
Am I suppose to pretend to be happy?
It was just a few months ago that the one person I grew up with DIED. Am I am just suppose to pretend to that it never happen? that he never existed? that i wasn’t some how part of what happened to him.
I miss him every day.
some days it is easier than others to pretend. but it is a struggle every single. day.
especially on days where my youngest child asks me…
“i wonder what being dead feels like.”
“Dont you mommy?”
“No I don’t.”
“I don’t know want to know”
well, sometimes I do wonder.
what does being dead feel like.