After dropping my kids off at golf camp this past week, I decided to take advantage of my quiet time and go for a quick walk. The city park is just a few minute walk from the golf course so I decided to go that route. Which, I forgot winds right around the cemetery.
Of course, I teared up as I walked by because it made me think of my brother, who I miss every day. However, it made me think about the flowers and other objects people put on graves. I’ve never been one to take part in this ritual, even after my grandpa, uncle, and cousin’s son died. I’ve never felt a connection to a grave site.
In the past, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me that I didn’t feel a need to do this. Or maybe I didn’t feel enough of a connection with those family members I’ve lost in the past to feel the need to do this. I’m still not feeling it even though I’ve lost one of the closest people to me.
I still do not get the action of putting flowers and other objects on a gravestone. If it makes people feel better or feel they have a connection, then so be it. I just don’t want to be judged because I don’t feel it.
I just don’t feel that connection to this place. The place where he is in my heart and my thoughts. Every single day, I still think of my brother in some way. It doesn’t make me a cold person to not feel a connection with his final “resting” spot, right?
WWBD? (What Would Billie Do?) Well, Billie used to drive by Grandpa Bill’s grave site and honk and wave.
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